Six Hacks for Staying Motivated

So sis, you got really motivated recently. Maybe you saw an awesome speaker or got a stinging dose of honesty from a friend or family member. But initial motivation often fades…so here are a few ways to keep that motivation going strong.

 

  1. Remember the pain points. In sales lingo, pain points are problems that come about when the solution being offered is not taken. Try to keep in mind all the things that could or will happen if you don’t stay the course. For example, if you were once motivated to go running three times a week, think about what will happen if you don’t give your heart the exercise it needs.

 

  1. Don’t play leapfrog. Feelings of motivation can sometimes slip into the category of finding the next high. Instead of bouncing from goal to goal, make sure you finish what you start before getting motivated to do something else. For example, if you really like language and made a goal for yourself to learn Spanish, learn it before you switch to learning French.

 

  1. Know Thyself. When you try to accomplish goals other people set for you, your motivation can quickly die. Take a look at your goals and make sure they’re goals you have for yourself…not goals that other people want you to achieve. If they’re not your own, you may want to set them aside and reassess where you’re going.

 

  1. Visualization. Picturing the end result of your goal can go a long way towards maintaining your motivation to succeed. It also has some really great side effects. The positive energy you build around that imagery will affect you at a subconscious level, while the mental affirmation declaring you can achieve it will do loads for your self confidence, which will also help you stay the course.

 

  1. Release things that are beyond your control. It can be easy to lose motivation and give up when things don’t’ go according to plan. Learn to simply let go of things beyond your control, otherwise they will reduce your motivation to succeed.

 

  1. Get organized. If you want to stay motivated, you need to work a little bit to keep the motivation alive, otherwise it will just slip into the traffic stream of life’s feelings that inevitably comes over everyone… just like happiness, sadness, or anger, motivation will just be another feeling unless you concretize it. Put your goals on the calendar and create a personal action plan.

 

Getting Rid of Old Attachments and Baggage

Everyone has different reasons why they have held on to past baggage and attachments. Sometimes trauma endured in either childhood or adult life detours our lives from the vision we once had. Unhealthy relationships and experiences (whether it be family relationships, marriages, friendships, being violated, betrayal or word curses) have the ability to change the entire course of our lives.

Have you ever given up on goals you’ve set for yourself because someone in your life who held significance said you couldn’t do it? Has a parent, aunt, grandmother or sibling told you you’d never be anything, no one would love you or condemned you to a particular thing or position in life? Even if it was’t the truth those words damaged you and maybe even permeated your life.

As a young girl my mother started telling me I would never be anything and no would would ever love me at the age of 10. Parents aren’t exempt from being battered and broken. Some of the men and women we’ve once looked up to haven’t had the greatest role models nor been equipped with the proper tools to navigate life. Ever heard the saying hurt people hurt people? It’s true. A person can’t give you something they don’t have.

Have you ever been in an intimate relationship with someone who tore you down mentally? Abused you financially, emotionally or spiritually? It hurts. It changes you. When we’re in the developmental stages we have no control over how people are allowed to affect our lives. Therefore, we often become a product of our environment. We tend to have a hard time deciphering between normal and abnormal as adults because we’ve been introduced to dysfunction and abuse in our development stages. However, there are also times we simply give other’s too much power in our lives because we don’t recognize who we are.

Too often we allow people to strip us of our voices, relinquishing our ability to choose. We allow people to tell us who we are and what we’re worth instead of announcing who we are and refusing to settle for less than we deserve and desire. At some point we get tired and crave something better than what has been tolerated and attracted into our lives. We begin to identify what we no longer want, but don’t know how to break the cycle. No matter what we do we still keep getting the same results. Sound familiar? This happens because we have not unidentified with those old attachments.

Let me give you a scenario for a negative attachment developed in childhood…

A young girls body starts to develop at a young age. The mother, lacking the knowledge to educate her child on her physical and hormonal changes, demeans and condemns her child through the power of spoken word. Mom doesn’t understand that her words are damaging her child who will now carry the energy her mother gave her leaving her with a flawed sense of self. Even if a particular word curse never manifests in a child’s life, the child will hold on to the energy due to the trauma behind the words until it is recognized and halted.

The energy we carry can be identified by other people which allows unhealthy relationships to form. That energy sometimes identifies itself as a weakness.

The mother doesn’t really see her child as the demeaning names she calls her. The mother simply has a lack of knowledge. The reality is the mother is afraid of what could happen as a result of her child’s development along with the fact that the child is becoming self-aware. Mom feels her child is losing her innocence and thinks that her demeaning behavior will prevent her child from becoming she is unconsciously proclaiming.

So, how do we begin to release negative attachments?

Release Your Sound – Speak Truth to Old Attachments

Speaking the emotions you’ve held and the impact negative attachments have had on your life. Speak the truth of who you are to these old attachments. There is a great need to release your voice when you have been silent about something for so long. Believe me, this is a very freeing experience. Give yourself permission to get it all out. Yell and cry if you need to. When you release the sound of your voice you are reclaiming power and authority over your life and dismantling word curses that have been spoken over you and embedded into your life. You are also halting permission for negative energy associated with past attachments from continuing to impact your life.

I charge you with the duty of declaring who you are in this world and how you will show up in this world from this moment forward. As you begin to affirm you are going to speak into the atmosphere announcing to the heavens and the entire universe who YOU ARE. The thing about affirming is when you begin to speak affirmations you have to believe what you speak. Know that you are a powerful force worthy of receiving what you desire and it is already yours from the moment you begin to claim it. You can not write affirmation and speak them while still speaking negatively about yourself. That’s equivalent praying for something in the absence of belief. Make a habit of creating a series of I statements that are in alignment with who you are and what you are creating. Remember  your words, energy and actions must match.

Think about what you have learned from the experience and how it can empower you

What has your experience taught you about attachments and relationships? How can the experience empower you moving forward? How can you use your new knowledge to positively impact the lives of those around you?

Release your anger/ unresolved emotion toward the other person

There is power in forgiveness and it’s time to start forgiving. Let go of your anger, resentment and disappointment toward individuals who have impacted your life in a negative manner and wish them well. Forgiving them gives you permission to be free and move your life forward.

You Are The Creator of Your Own Destiny

Do you believe you have the power to choose the direction of your life? Or do you believe life just happens to us?

What if I told you tomorrow is based off the decisions we make today? I had a conversation with my daughter a few days ago regarding the power of CHOICE and her God given authority. It was that conversation that inspired this post. It is every parents desire to see their children grow and become productive, respectable, and successful young leaders. I desire to change societal norms with my children and future grandchildren. My goal is to raise up children who are self-aware, emotionally healthy, culturally aware, mentally strong and wealthy. I want them to have the ability to navigate life and understand that life doesn’t merely happen to us but is created by us.

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As a 17 year old I made a conscious decision to have unprotected sex. That decision led to pregnancy. After my child was born I made another conscious decision to detour from my original education plan and didn’t have the knowledge or understanding of wealth or how to start building it. So when I found myself in the position of a young, broke, misguided mother and wife I couldn’t point my finger at anyone, but myself. Do you know why? I’ll tell you… Because it was my decisions that gave birth to who I had become.

No, I didn’t have the advantage of a two parent household. I didn’t have a supportive loving mother nor family. I bounced in and out of the system between foster placement and family member, but I had the power of choice. I just didn’t use it. I bounced from one bad situation to another in my early adult life as I did in my childhood until finally, I had become a young, battered, broken, homeless single mother. When I finally understood the meaning behind “you are the driver of your own life” it was a game changer, but that understanding also demanded change.

It's Not too Late (1)

I had to accept the fact that I hadn’t been very responsible in my decision making, I needed to accept responsibility for the condition of my life, and start writing a new story. Writing a new story meant I had to make a series of decisions that would alter the direction of my life, therefore altering my destiny.  At the time I was busted and disgusted with my life, BUT I was aware and almost ready to take the driver seat.  I just had to…

Discover who and what I was which meant I had to discover who and what I wasn’t.

Start retraining the way I thought so I could see life through a new set of lenses.

I needed to start dispelling all of the religious lies I was taught and the word curses/ declarations spoken over my life that I accepted. Those were things that kept me a prisoner all those years.

I had to realize that I was still WORTHY of the life I desired to live despite where I was. You can’t create something you don’t believe you deserve.

Today’s affirmation: “I am the creator of my own destiny”.

Life is amazing if we believe it to be. We have the power to reverse negative declarations and make powerful decisions daily. If you grieve the condition of your life it’s time for change.

Your future is calling.

Love and Light,

Marie

Six Reason’s Black Women Should Embrace Their Kinky Hair

I’d be the first to admit that rocking natural hair can sometimes be frustrating. There are great days and on the other hand there are bad days where you can’t manage or style it. However, the natural hair journey is very rewarding. Let’s explore reasons why black women should embrace their natural, kinky, coily, curly hair.

Embracing The True you

Embracing your natural hair teaches self love, self acceptance and enables you to walk in your truth showcasing your true essence. It’s o.k to be unique. It’s o.k to be different and it’s o.k to be whom you were created to be. Be true to yourself… hating your natural creation is hating God’s design. The more you explore caring for your natural hair the more you will understand it, manage it and fall in love with it.

Natural Hair Is Healthy Hair

Your hair is healthiest in it’s natural state. There has to be an alkaline disruption of the disulphide bonds in the cortex of the hair shaft when using chemical straighteners. Studies have proven chemical processing to cause a great amount of damage to the hair which often leaves it dry and fragile therefore susceptible to breakage, dandruff, hair loss, frizz and discoloration according to the International Journal of Trichology.

Versatility

Natural hair is more versatile than most women think. Yes, we can wear our cute puffs, but we can also wear twists, twist outs/twist out with cute scarves, braid outs, up-do’s, rod sets, locs, cornrows, buns, flat twists, frohawk, bantu knots, french rolls and honey the list goes on…

Being Natural Is Inexpensive

You spend less caring for your natural hair compared to the amount of money commonly spent caring for permed hair. It’s simply finding the right products that your hair loves! You also have the ability to create your own natural products made with natural ingredients you can find at most grocery stores. Products purchased to maintain natural hair often lasts much longer giving you more for your dollars.

You Inspire Others to Embrace Their Kinky Hair Too!

When you boldly display your beautiful head of natural hair you inspire other women and girls to embrace their natural hair also. It’s time to send positive images and messages about our hair and kill the stigmas and lies that have been associated with our natural hair. We have to embrace our identity that the world would like to strip from us.

Your Natural Hair Causes You To Stand Out

Being natural has it’s perks and standing out is one of them. It sends the message I am loving the real me and it displays confidence and boldness. We have unique hair and unique textures that draw positive attention. The boldness and confidence that comes along with wearing your natural hair is sexy! More people are beginning to fall in love with natural hair even those who have despised it.

Creating Internal and External Abundance

What is the one thing you can change that has the potential to change everything?

I often look back over my life at a time where I was emotionally broken, spiritually displaced and living in financial lack. I always thought if I just had more money I could change everything. But would money truly rid me of all of my worries or would I be a broken person with money? Would I mismanage the money as a result of the condition of my inner being?

“We have to experience a breakdown before we can experience a breakthrough.” 

When I began to focus on healing as an inside out experience my entire life began to change. I realized it was internal blockage that kept me from experiencing both internal and external wealth. I know many have heard the saying it’s not just what we feed our physical bodies that is hurting us, but what we are feeding our minds. What I now understand is worries, stress, a negative mindset, anger, unforgiveness, depression and even closed mindedness are threats to your financial future.

When you’re stuck in a state of unrest and a lower state of consciousness you don’t recognize who you are. You don’t acknowledge the unique abilities and gifts you have been equipped with and often undermine your own brilliance. You tend to drown out everything God has already placed within you to assist in creating a flow of abundance (not just financial abundance, but inner abundance too!) and allow yourself to be defined by outside sources.

When you FIRST heal your inner being you gain a better understanding and appreciation for money. When you understand money you learn how to properly attract and multiply it. When there is a lack of money it’s natural for the response to be “I need more money.” However, the truth is when there is a lack of money, there is often a need for healing and information.

Sometimes we must fall on our face before we’re willing to surrender and acknowledge that our approach isn’t the way. If it hasn’t worked in the past it’s time to formulate a new strategy.

“If you’re not properly working, nothing works.” 

In my late 20’s I realized that the one thing I could change which had the potential to change everything was simple. It was my mind. I had to change my mind and accept responsibility for my life. Making peace within taught me how to make peace with my personal money issues and learn how to start creating wealth. If you can change your mind, you can change the entire course of your life. Remember, your destiny isn’t contingent upon fate, but your destiny is created by you.

It’s time to clear up barriers that serve as blockage to becoming the best version of you and start learning how to create financial abundance. It is more than attainable.

Again, my question is what is one thing you can change now that has the potential to change everything?

Tips for Creating a Healthy Relationship

It’s not your physical appearance, your fortune, your good job or your wealth that’s responsible for creating a healthy and long lasting relationship.

Check out these six tips for creating healthy relationships:

  1. Focus on creating a healthy relationship with yourself.

The type of relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you will have which sets the tone for the relationships you create with others. How healthy is your self-esteem? Do you have a positive, healthy self-image? The way other people treat you is a direct reflection of how you treat yourself. If you lack confidence in your own ability you will notice that others will be uncertain of your abilities also. Practice taking care of yourself and creating the relationship with the man or woman you see in the mirror that you want to create with others. Remember happiness is an inside job and we attract what we are.

  1. Learn how to compromise, however not all the time.

Relationships are based upon finding the equality. It’s good to meet halfway from time to time, that’s how our life is. Just don’t overdo it. Do not often be the person making all compromises because this will destroy your self-esteem. Find the proper times to give and take.  You want to create a healthy balance.

  1. Keep in mind that a relationship isn’t about owning your spouse/partner.

This is certainly a common problem experienced in many relationships that will drive one partner out the door. Things that could really damage a loving relationship are over-protectiveness and jealousy. Remember to give your partner the space to be who they are.

  1. Learn to hear, be open, see and interact.

Sit and have a calming chit chat with your mate. Discuss major issues and minor issues; share thoughts and ideas when you are communicating together. Don’t punish one another with silence and don’t go to bed angry. For a solid relationship, you must learn to have healthy discussions with your spouse. If chaos often arises when you engage in discussion create healthy boundaries you both can agree on.

  1. Create a weekly routine check-in.

We often become so busy that we forget what’s important in our lives; so weekly check-ins are a great time to create the space to communicate your love, appreciation and admiration for your partner. Also, use this chance to get on the same page with your routines, prepare a date night and discuss what you want to see happen in the coming weeks, days and months in your relationship. Without a conscious attempt to set aside time to carry out a temperature check in your relationship needs can go unmet while resentment builds.

  1. A relationship isn’t a competition!

A healthy relationship requires teamwork. Working to outscore your spouse is pointless and defeats the point of a relationship. You could be the most valuable player (MVP) today, but you’ll be alone and weaker without the help of your partner. Cease the race, be a true teammate/partner and attempt to win the game as a triumphing team!

10 Tips for Greater Self Confidence

Is lack of self-confidence holding you back from creating the life of your dreams? Are you frustrated with feelings of inferiority or lack of belief in your own ability? If you’ve answered yes you could benefit from the following top tips for increasing your self-confidence.

  1. Visualize. Take time daily to close your eyes and picture yourself at ease and confident. Get detailed in this practice and ask yourself how would you feel if you were totally self-assured and confident each day? How different would your life be?

  2. Do mirror activities. Each morning, take a look at yourself in the mirror and speak powerful I am declarations, “I love you, I adore you, I accept you”. Continue to build on this method each day and you will discover that your self-confidence is increasing. (What you speak and think about yourself shapes your reality).

  3. Consider others who had bigger problems compared to the ones you’re facing, but managed to confront and conquer them. Give it some thought: If they found the power to overcome, you can do it too.

  4. Speak with someone who knows you well, someone whom you have faith in to offer you honest and sensible feedback. Ask them what expertise they have that can assist with mending your situation. Then, pay attention without questioning them. You may be amazed at what they advise!

  5. Put a smile on your face, take a deep breath and deal with your difficult moment. At times, just the act to get started is sufficient enough to offer you the boldness to overcome.

  6. Remind yourself that you can! Self-talk is a great method to motivate you. Even when you are not as prosperous as you had planned to be ensure that your self-talk concerning the situation is positive and will assist in greater success whenever you approach the goal or circumstance again in the future.

  7. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. Jim Rohn quoted “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This is such a true and powerful quote. Surround yourself with loving people who sow into your life and encourage your best. These people often carry amazing energy and their presence can influence your desired change.

  8. Move outside of your comfort zone. Commit to attempting something new each week. Start off with small steps and stay positive. For example: commit to smiling at an outsider this week. As soon as you feel at ease with this, commit to doing it more each week. It may feel difficult and weird at first however, you will begin to feel great.

  9. Get a grasp of yourself and remember you are not your mind. You can actually create problems through your own worry and fear. You may find it helpful to write down the problem, doing this will usually help put things into perspective and eliminate a lot of worry instantly.

  10. Acknowledging a higher power. Relax and recall that God’s love is around you, directing you and providing opportunities whichever way you seek. Let that power and sense of safety move through you, feel its growth inside of you as your confidence elevates.

Revitalizing Black Sisterhood

Sisterhood is a connection between blood sisters or female friends. This might apply to moral support or sororities that are abound. Honoring the special connection of sisterhood can be done by creating a sacred space amidst a group of women where you can come together, talk, share, create and partake of each other’s presence, wisdom and knowledge. In this space sisters often weep, celebrate and grow together creating memories of mutual and long lasting relationship.

In historical cultures, the gathering of females was very important. Women gathered for rites and rituals, traditions, everyday work and involvement in their community, tribe or clan. However, the gatherings were mature connections that were greatly respected.

We’ve lost that sense of sisterhood. Due to this fact, we’re missing an important facet of womanhood, the sense of personal and deeper connections. We’re missing celebrating our own rites of passage, growth and transitions with one another. We’re missing the acknowledgment of those who have traveled this journey before us and the examples they’ve laid.

We’re capable, strong women who can do amazing things when we join forces.

However, at times we get so occupied, perfectionistic and competitive with other women, that we don’t allow ourselves to develop relationship with one another. We overlook the need to understand and build each other up and we also overlook the fact that we need each other in order to grow.

Sisterhood is not only about having a good friend to go out shopping with; it is about having sisters who can assist you through life transitions, help you build, share in your successes and cover you when necessary.

A few ideas that you can implement to help develop/promote sisterhood in your circles:

  1. Plan a consistent lunch or dinner outing (or at someone’s home) with family members or some good friends. It could even be a group of women who don’t actually know each other, but still have you in common.
  2. Don’t discount the advantages of hooking up with good friends who live at a distance via Google hangout or Skype.
  3. Attend/organize retreats, programs and workshops that gather women with the same interests. You can meet some great people by doing this. You all could meet up at health events, writing workshops, retreats etc. It is truly a terrific way to expand your interactions.
  4. Plan a holiday trip with few sisters (these sisters could be your soul sisters or real sisters). This type of trip gives time and space to truly talk, share and enjoy being in each other’s company. Opt for less planning and doing and more time together.

Feel free to share your ideas of building sisterhood. I would love to read them!

Ten Tips for Achieving Authentic Happiness

  1. Understand what really makes you happy.

Have you ever sat down and thought about what really make you happy and why? If you have never taken the time to consider what makes you happy, you’ve probably found it nearly impossible to attain authentic happiness. Just imagine…  As soon as you identify what really make you happy, you’ll finally quit chasing smoke and start concentrating on what’s real in your life that honors you.

  1. Eliminate excuses

If you wish to achieve authentic happiness, the very first step would be to accept 100 percent responsibility for whatever you encounter in your life. This implies taking accountability for your outcomes, your health, your relationships, your finances, your feelings – everything! This puts you in the driver seat and helps you realize how much power you truly have.

  1. Understand yourself

Who you are? What entices you, drives you, moves you? Once you really understand yourself – the good, the bad, as well as the ugly you can begin to explore the good and determine what you need to do about the things you dislike.

  1. Determine your values

What are your values? Your values are things that are very important to you – whether it is your faith, honesty, freedom, family, creativity, business or other things that are important to you. Values usually remain constant throughout one’s life – they’re an important part of your individual make-up.

  1. Live on purpose

What is the “Why” behind what you do? What exactly are you here to achieve? What is your life’s purpose? When you know your purpose and your mission you can utilize it to guide your life giving your steps better direction and meaning.

  1. Make sure your needs are met

When your needs constantly go unmet, it is difficult to proceed in whatever you do because it leaves a feeling of un-fulfillment. Personal needs are physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and environmental things that are necessary to help you perform at your very best and have a sense of fulfillment. Remember the saying you can’t take care of anything or anyone if you don’t take care of you?

  1. Have confidence in your intuition/awareness/wisdom

This isn’t an ability reserved for psychics. Everybody has it and everybody has experienced it in one way or the other. Have you ever thought about an old-friend, and then your phone rings and it is that same person on the line who just called to say they’re thinking about you? We have all experienced this type of intuition. The key is to learn to see and hear and take advantage of it when necessary to achieve higher levels of success.

  1. Modify your beliefs and rules for joy and happiness.

What rules do you have that determines your happiness? You may believe that in order for you to be happy; you will need to be in a relationship with another being, be accepted by everyone or maybe even be a millionaire. Is it possible that you’ve made it tough to be happy? Sometimes it’s our rules and beliefs that limit our life experiences. If you modify the rules and check your beliefs you may become a much happier person.

  1. Understand your truth

How could we understand the body’s wisdom if we are always in a hurry, focusing on the past, projecting to the future and mismanaging valuable time? Your authentic-self is often unheard. To be able to reveal your true self, you have to make time for precious moments of solitude.

  1. Speak and live your truth

Once you’ve identified your truth, honor and speak it. Live that truth out loud. Be heard… be you confidently.

8 Tips To Help You Get Over A Bad Breakup

 

I definitely know how hard it can be when you’re working toward getting over a bad breakup. I understand the feelings of betrayal and loneliness… Not to mention the crying spells and the emotional roller-coaster. Going from angry, to isolating yourself, and wanting to bargain to patch things up knowing that it will never work and you’ll ultimately be right back in the same spot again.

The 8 tips below are actual steps I took after removing myself from a toxic relationship. Walking away is never easy, but sometimes necessary.

Refrain From Playing The Blame Game

Accept the fact that the relationship is over. In some cases your relationship ended long before you went your separate ways. For whatever reasons it didn’t work out. If it was supposed to last it would have so accept that the relationship is over. The longer you play the blame game the longer it will take for you to get over the relationship and forgive.

Shift Your Attention On You 

Following your break up you want to shift your focus and attention on you. The most important thing at this point in getting you back into a healthy state that will enable you to move your life forward. Trust me, it’s extremely hard to work on you if your mind is stuck on your ex and the relationship you once shared.

Cease Contact

Cut off all communication. This may sound extreme, but trust me it’s not. After a breakup you have to take the time you need to get refocused and seeing him or her isn’t going to make that easy.  If you have children in common have someone else facilitate the exchange until you are mentally and emotionally in a position where you can comfortably resume the exchange.

Declutter Your Space

Decluttering your space is so important. Not only will you be decluttering your physical space, but your social space also.

If you’re seriously done, be done. Get rid of everything you have held on to that reminds you of your ex and what you’ve shared with him or her. Letters, cards, flowers, his t-shirt you slept in etc. If there are certain items that you can’t get rid of pack them up and put them away so they are not visible during your healing time.

Change your social circle. If you are connected to his friends and social circle it may be time to disconnect. You want to surround yourself with your own supportive circle of friends and family members who will help you with your goal of moving on. Ask your personal circle not to discuss your ex with you.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

It is completely natural to feel and think. Who doesn’t have feelings and thoughts? I believe it is important to acknowledge what you are feeling as well as your thoughts. After a breakup many people internalize the pain and begin to feel worthless, unloved or unlovable etc. You must challenge these thoughts. The end of a relationship doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of loving someone, being loved or obtaining lasting love. Speak positively to your negative thoughts. Affirming is a good way to aid in changing how you think about something that directly impacts you or your life.

Engage With The Outside World

Plan an outing with friends or family members. If you’re in business attend a networking mixer. Get yourself a gym membership, attend a yoga class, plan outings with the children etc.  =–Do whatever you love to do. The goal is to occupy your time so you spend less time with an idle mind as well as ensuring that you continue to live your life instead of falling into a depressed state and isolating yourself from the world.

Get A Journal

Writing can be very therapeutic. Get yourself a personal journal or notebook and write what you feel and how the breakup has affected you. You don’t want to write from a place of pity you want to write from a place of power. You are always in control of how circumstances affect your life. Let writing be a part of the healing process.

Gratitude

Start your day with an expression of gratitude. It’s important to find the light in the darkness. Express gratitude for the freedom to create within yourself what you need to form a healthy, loving relationship. Take time to acknowledge all of the beautiful things and people in your life as well as the beauty within you that will make you the perfect mate for your future partner.