Everyone has different reasons why they have held on to past baggage and attachments. Sometimes trauma endured in either childhood or adult life detours our lives from the vision we once had. Unhealthy relationships and experiences (whether it be family relationships, marriages, friendships, being violated, betrayal or word curses) have the ability to change the entire course of our lives.
Have you ever given up on goals you’ve set for yourself because someone in your life who held significance said you couldn’t do it? Has a parent, aunt, grandmother or sibling told you you’d never be anything, no one would love you or condemned you to a particular thing or position in life? Even if it was’t the truth those words damaged you and maybe even permeated your life.
As a young girl my mother started telling me I would never be anything and no would would ever love me at the age of 10. Parents aren’t exempt from being battered and broken. Some of the men and women we’ve once looked up to haven’t had the greatest role models nor been equipped with the proper tools to navigate life. Ever heard the saying hurt people hurt people? It’s true. A person can’t give you something they don’t have.
Have you ever been in an intimate relationship with someone who tore you down mentally? Abused you financially, emotionally or spiritually? It hurts. It changes you. When we’re in the developmental stages we have no control over how people are allowed to affect our lives. Therefore, we often become a product of our environment. We tend to have a hard time deciphering between normal and abnormal as adults because we’ve been introduced to dysfunction and abuse in our development stages. However, there are also times we simply give other’s too much power in our lives because we don’t recognize who we are.
Too often we allow people to strip us of our voices, relinquishing our ability to choose. We allow people to tell us who we are and what we’re worth instead of announcing who we are and refusing to settle for less than we deserve and desire. At some point we get tired and crave something better than what has been tolerated and attracted into our lives. We begin to identify what we no longer want, but don’t know how to break the cycle. No matter what we do we still keep getting the same results. Sound familiar? This happens because we have not unidentified with those old attachments.
Let me give you a scenario for a negative attachment developed in childhood…
A young girls body starts to develop at a young age. The mother, lacking the knowledge to educate her child on her physical and hormonal changes, demeans and condemns her child through the power of spoken word. Mom doesn’t understand that her words are damaging her child who will now carry the energy her mother gave her leaving her with a flawed sense of self. Even if a particular word curse never manifests in a child’s life, the child will hold on to the energy due to the trauma behind the words until it is recognized and halted.
The energy we carry can be identified by other people which allows unhealthy relationships to form. That energy sometimes identifies itself as a weakness.
The mother doesn’t really see her child as the demeaning names she calls her. The mother simply has a lack of knowledge. The reality is the mother is afraid of what could happen as a result of her child’s development along with the fact that the child is becoming self-aware. Mom feels her child is losing her innocence and thinks that her demeaning behavior will prevent her child from becoming she is unconsciously proclaiming.
So, how do we begin to release negative attachments?
Release Your Sound – Speak Truth to Old Attachments
Speaking the emotions you’ve held and the impact negative attachments have had on your life. Speak the truth of who you are to these old attachments. There is a great need to release your voice when you have been silent about something for so long. Believe me, this is a very freeing experience. Give yourself permission to get it all out. Yell and cry if you need to. When you release the sound of your voice you are reclaiming power and authority over your life and dismantling word curses that have been spoken over you and embedded into your life. You are also halting permission for negative energy associated with past attachments from continuing to impact your life.
I charge you with the duty of declaring who you are in this world and how you will show up in this world from this moment forward. As you begin to affirm you are going to speak into the atmosphere announcing to the heavens and the entire universe who YOU ARE. The thing about affirming is when you begin to speak affirmations you have to believe what you speak. Know that you are a powerful force worthy of receiving what you desire and it is already yours from the moment you begin to claim it. You can not write affirmation and speak them while still speaking negatively about yourself. That’s equivalent praying for something in the absence of belief. Make a habit of creating a series of I statements that are in alignment with who you are and what you are creating. Remember your words, energy and actions must match.
Think about what you have learned from the experience and how it can empower you
What has your experience taught you about attachments and relationships? How can the experience empower you moving forward? How can you use your new knowledge to positively impact the lives of those around you?
Release your anger/ unresolved emotion toward the other person
There is power in forgiveness and it’s time to start forgiving. Let go of your anger, resentment and disappointment toward individuals who have impacted your life in a negative manner and wish them well. Forgiving them gives you permission to be free and move your life forward.