Hey loves! It’s Thursday have you missed me? The week has gone by so quickly! It seems as if I blinked on Monday and Thursday morning had arrived. My third shift job and mommy duties have had me all over the place lately, but I’m getting things in order. Everything has been aligning perfectly for me so I’m seriously exhaling y’all.
I’ve been referring to myself as a radical self-love junkie lately because that has been my focus, but it’s exactly what this season of my life is really about… Truly learning to love Marie and I’m loving me! It’s amazing how much life changes and the abundance of love, happiness and peace you begin to attract into your life when you simply start loving you. Since starting this series I have been learning a lot about myself. Though I haven’t necessarily been ecstatic about everything I’ve been learning I’m giving myself the grace to change the things I don’t like while still loving myself through the process. This journey thus far has been absolutely amazing and I feel so damn good.
Over the past week I have found myself continuously dispelling lies about self-love that I have been taught from childhood including some of those rotten religious lies. Many of us have been taught to put ourselves last and take care of others first and that thinking is so backwards. We’re also taught to give and pour into others even when we don’t have any extra to give. We tend to forget we can’t pour from an empty vessel. Someone asked me a question a few months ago regarding a guy I was dating. The question was if you’re loving him and he’s loving him, who is loving you? That question made me think long and hard. Thats when I started re-evaluating what I accept from other people in relationships and what it is I need.
My next realization was understanding I needed to disconnect to reconnect… I needed to focus on me and give MYSELF what I need. Throughout my childhood and adult life I can recall self-love being portrayed as selfishness, conceit and arrogance. The truth is it’s none of those things. I am now convinced that no one will ever love me more than I love myself and thats the way it should be. The truth is people are only going to respect and love you as much as you do. We have to set the standard, but in order to do so I realized I had to really know my worth and value. In knowing my worth and value, I must treat myself as such and refuse to accept anything less from others. This applies to intimate partner relationships, friendships, and even in the workplace etc. Yes love you also need to know your worth as an employee.
This journey has continued to help me release the things that conflict with my values and beliefs while making the right connections. Connections that are healthy and in alignment with who I am becoming and where I’m headed. As you begin to embrace and nurture your being you naturally begin to rid yourself of things that threaten your peace, freedom, individuality and those who seek to silence you.
I’ve had many conversations with individuals who were allowing others to undermine their worth and intelligence, but refused to see self-love and worth as an issue. Hell, I’ve even been one of those people. I’m still a humble soul, but learning to love me allows me to stay true to who I am and speak without my voice cracking or having fear of judgement. I consciously set higher standards.
It was freeing to throw out my wigs and hair weave this week to embrace my short natural hair. Few people who know me know I shaved my head this summer. Completely bald…. But I refused to be seen in public without hair. I planned to wear wigs and weave until my hair grew back to a certain length. Well as uncomfortable as it still felt I walked into work Wednesday wearing my short natural hair and many loved it. I also noticed how beautiful my skin is and its crazy that I never paid attention to ir before. Not completely perfect, but imperfectly perfect. So… On that note I’m looking forward to continued growth. Oh and I’m looking forward to rocking out this natural hair journey again. 😉
What are some of the self-love lies you’ve heard, believed or maybe still believe now?