Redefining Me: Establishing Healthy Relationships


Hello loves! I’m going to try to keep this short, sweet with just enough juice and to the point.

At the end of my last post I told you all I would introduce my new model for establishing healthy relationships moving forward. But I want to ask you a question. What is your model? What are your boundaries? I invite you to respond in the comments I would love to hear from you.

When I started this journey I asked myself, Marie, what are you worth? Initially, I couldn’t produce an answer because I didn’t have clear understanding of my value as a woman, mother, nor any other role. I was uncertain about my life and the direction I was headed in, but the most debilitating affect was the fact that I had become disconnected from my purpose.

I had to ask myself another very important question before beginning this journey. That question was, Marie, are you willing to do whatever it takes to bring forth the best version of you? This would be my personal death and resurrection. Getting rid of the old woman breaking the bondage, negative cycles and bad habits to become something I have never been which is the woman I was created to become. It would demand sacrifice, changing the way I “think” and ridding myself of those negative relationships that stand in opposition to where I desire to arrive including those individuals who unconsciously offered me a taste of death while truly believing they were for me.

I realize that not every approach is for every person, however it was vital for me to detach from the familiar and connect with God. I have limited my social interaction with friends and family and some of those relationships will not resume because they aren’t healthy. I stepped away from social media… specifically Facebook.

Sometimes you need that space where only you and God reside in order to get what you need from God and really reconnect with the inner you. So you’re asking where the heck is this model? My model is so simple y’all! My new model for establishing healthy relationships is my relationship with myself. Yes you read that right.

The relationship you develop with self will be one of the greatest relationships you will ever develop. You teach other people how to treat you and how to love you. I realized that I have to love me more than anybody else can. I have to value myself more than anybody can. I’m loving myself the way God loves me. I will no longer allow anyone to come into my present and treat me any less that I treat myself. No one can give me anything less than I’d give myself. And no ladies this isn’t selfish thinking its healthy thinking. Now that I truly know my worth I will never compromise it again.

Every day I’m continuing to break chains from my past and reinvent myself. I’ve been blossoming beautifully since starting this journey and I feel amazing. The day I asked myself if I was willing to do whatever it takes to bring the best me forward I said yes. I weighed so many odds and it isn’t easy. I had to let go of some friendships (those can be situationships too 😏), disassociate with some places I would frequent, get rid of that negative stinking thinking and even tune out the world i.e. family and friends who may not necessarily understand my journey and need for personal intimacy with God and myself.

I even danced with the idea of spending the rest of my life committed to singleness… Therefore having a heart only yielded to God. Why? Because when I decided to truly love myself that’s the day I realized not every man is worthy of my attention regardless of how sweet his words are and despite the sweetness of his acts. There is a certain man whom only God has equipped for me, but if I never encounter him I will be content. Again, totally submitted to God loving myself and making moves only a dope woman can make. 💪


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