Every one who knows me knows that I love black men (especially the one who is blessed to have me 😉). Don’t get me wrong there is love in my heart for all of humanity, but I have a special love for black men. Why? Because of all that a black man must endure from society, systems constructed to destroy him and the battle he often has with the black woman. I know there is a large number of women who will disagree with me… However, as much as I love my sistas this post is all about our men and how we can love on them and lighten their loads.
A real man is going to take care of his woman, but the woman must also take care of him. Relationships are partnerships and it changes the game when you start to view the man in your life as your life partner. What does a life partner look like for you? What do you bring to your current partnership? Or what could you contribute to a future partnership? Think on that for a bit.
In the meantime check out the 8 tips below on loving a black man. Notice I said MAN…
#1. Support Him
As I stated above black men don’t have the easiest role and often carry more weight than we acknowledge. Sometimes he just wants to feel the support and appreciation from his woman for all that he does. Make sure you also support his vision and goals. Women are natural birthers. We give life to whatever a man brings us… Help him on his journey to greater and cheer for him the same way you want him to cheer for you.
#2. Create A Peaceful Home
Home is THE sanctuary. It’s the one place to resort to escaping the noise, the chaos and the fuckery. He wants to come home to a loving peaceful atmosphere where he can find rest. He won’t want to come home to you bitching and complaining. We have more power as women than we often realize sistas. Be his peace and he will look forward to keeping his home happy. A home can’t be a sanctuary if its unclean and cluttered so keep it clean and make it a group effort. Teach your children the importance of keeping order in the home.
#3. Respect Him and His Authority
Many of us want a “strong black man” we ask for a man who could truly head our homes, but when we find that man we won’t allow him to play his role. We upsurp his authority by attempting to go over his head, disallowing him to discipline the children and allowing outsiders to have input in how he heads the home. Let’s face it… Home has to be run by both the man and woman, but there are some things that a man must set in stone to keep order in his household. Respect that. Never allow your household to be divided by any outside person or force.
#4. Give Him Space
If you have a hard working man at home who is dedicated to the well-being of his family allow him the space to enjoy time outside of you, the children and home. This works both ways… Its give and take. Everyone needs a little play time. If there are no “trust issues” within your relationship don’t create them with accusations. The two of you should already have a strong foundation if you’re residing in the same home or sharing space.
#5. Honor Him In Public and at Home
Don’t disagree with him in front of the children nor publicly in front of friends and family members. Handle your disagreements in privacy. You don’t ever want to allow anyone to see the two of you divided. A man needs a woman who is willing to defend his honor. Don’t allow your friends and family members to disrespect him. This could lead to so many problems in your home and trust me the people causing trouble in your home wouldn’t dare allow you to cause trouble in their home so don’t give them that kind of power.
#6. Verbalize Your Love for Him and Make Sure It’s Felt
Tell him you love him. If you see that he has done a great job in the house thank him, let him know you appreciate his hard work as a provider. Occasionally leave small love notes or cards where he can easily see them…. On the steering wheel of his car, inside his briefcase etc. Surprise him with a card with money inside that says lunch on me. Get creative with the display of your love.
#7. Girlfriend Give Up The Goods!
Sex is an important part of any union/partnership. Look sis when he initiates sex don’t deny him. Yes you have other obligations etc, but make sure you’re not so burnt out that you don’t have time for him. Initiate sex sometimes he wants to know that you want him and enjoys your sex life also.
#8. Listen to Him
We often vent to our mates about work, business, the children etc. Sometimes we just want an ear. Know that men need this also. Listen to his frustration and minister to his need when necessary, but know when to just listen and embrace him.
I also want you to know that a man who genuinely loves you will never tell you anything to intentionally harm you because his desire will be to protect. With that being said be slow to disagree when he instructs something in your best interest. Think it through.